When When Obedience Doesn’t Make Sense.
Last week Monday, I woke up feeling completely exhausted.
It had been a busy weekend filled with cleaning, cooking, chauffeuring children to birthday parties, and everything else that comes with family life. I didn’t feel rested at all.
When I opened my eyes, our toddler was practically lying on my face, while the older two were already dressed and ready for prayer before school. I tried to sit up, but my muscles ached and I felt spent, yet I had only just woken up.
“Speak life, Brenda, not death. His grace is sufficient, right?”
After the children left for school, I made a bottle for our littlest one so she could settle down for her morning nap while I got started on some pending assignments. As I prepared her bottle, I decided to listen to a teaching while putting her to bed so I could move straight into my to-do list once she was asleep.
The teaching I chose took me in an entirely different direction.
It was one of those messages that stirs you awake and leaves you feeling challenged to do better. As I sat there with my toddler asleep on my lap, my laptop open, and my Bible beside me, I suddenly felt overwhelmed by thoughts about everything I needed to do and where I was supposed to begin.
Now add that “wake up and do better” feeling to the fear of not having enough time to do it all.
Nothing I had planned out for the morning seemed to be aligning. I couldn’t even make sense of the Scripture passage before me. I closed my eyes and tried to pray.
I couldn’t even pray.
The feeling was similar to missing a turn while driving, continuing down the wrong road, and then suddenly realising you’ve gone so far that getting back feels impossible. I don’t know if that makes sense, but that’s exactly how I felt.
There I was, with plenty to do, yet completely frozen.
Honestly, I couldn’t even remember what needed to be done first. How was I supposed to accomplish everything in the little time I had?
Retracing My Steps
As I sat there, feeling overwhelmed and unable to move, it felt as though there were two parts of me wrestling with each other. One wanted to keep pushing ahead and figure everything out, while the other seemed determined to stop me in my tracks. At the time, I couldn’t make sense of it. Looking back now, I realise God was gently calling me back to the simple instructions He had already given me. Not new instructions, not a new strategy, just a return to the things He had been quietly speaking to my heart all along.
Over the years, I have learned to retrace my steps whenever I feel stuck.
I go back to the very beginning and ask myself:
“What was the last instruction I received? What was the last thing I purposed to do?”
Doing this helps me gain perspective. It reminds me where I am and points me to where I’m meant to be going.
So that’s exactly what I did.
I thought about the tasks I had intended to catch up on that morning. I reflected on the gentle leadings of the Holy Spirit. Some simple whispers like drink more water, make sure you get at least 8 hours of sleep, slow down, and others more complicated in my view, like create a six-week meal plan on rotation or put systems in place for your home and family.
As I reflected, I realised how many of those leadings I had delayed, postponed, or even taken for granted.
For some, I had excuses.
For others, I’d been taking my time.
And for some, I’d simply ignored them because they didn’t make sense to me at the time.
Since I’m being completely honest, I should also mention the many instructions I’ve modified to suit my comfort, my wisdom, and my timeline. 😂
Sometimes it was because I felt insecure.
Sometimes because I wanted to feel important.
Sometimes because I wanted to please the people around me… hmmm.
Kind of like the story of King Saul in 1 Samuel 15.
To Obey Is Better Than Sacrifice
This is the story that gives us the well-known Scripture:
“To obey is better than sacrifice.”
1 Samuel 15:22
That’s my go-to Bible story when I am teaching the kids about obedience.
What intrigues me most about this story is that Saul’s act of disobedience cost him his throne.
SELAH!
What could my disobedience cost me?
God, through the prophet Samuel, sent Saul on a mission against the Amalekites. It was a straightforward instruction from the same God who had anointed him king. God had even promised him 100% victory.
All Saul had to do was obey.
And he did… partly.
Much like I sometimes do.
Saul modified the instruction to suit his preferences.
Scripture tells us:
“But Saul and the people spared Agag and the best of the sheep, the oxen, the fatlings, the lambs, and all that was good, and were unwilling to utterly destroy them.”
1 Samuel 15:9
This grieved the Lord.
Not because God was unaware of Saul’s actions, but because Saul knowingly chose his own way over God’s command.
What frightens me most is that Saul didn’t even realise he had disobeyed.
He believed he was honouring God.
After all, he was planning to sacrifice those animals to the Lord.
That sounds uncomfortably familiar.
How many times have I delayed obedience, partially obeyed, or outright ignored what God was asking me to do?
I can’t remember where we first heard it, but it’s a saying I have adopted in our home and often share with our children:
Delayed obedience is disobedience.
Partial obedience is disobedience.
Excused obedience is disobedience.
The truth is, it applies to me too.
If God tells me to get eight hours of sleep every night this month, and I decide seven is close enough, have I actually obeyed?
If He tells me to slow down and I continue rushing because I think I know better, have I obeyed?
Partial obedience is still disobedience.
The Lord isn’t looking for us to improve His instructions. He’s looking for us to trust Him enough to follow them.
It’s better to listen to God’s voice and do exactly what He says than to attempt to do something we consider better.
The Cost of Disobedience
Disobedience derails us from God’s will.
It creates confusion.
It produces unrest within our souls.
And it often keeps us from experiencing promises that obedience would have unlocked.
Isaiah 1:19-20 says:
“If you are willing and obedient, you shall eat the good of the land;
But if you refuse and rebel, you shall be devoured by the sword.”
Isaiah 1:19-20
When we obey God, we position ourselves to receive everything He has prepared for us.
But we also have a real enemy.
Peter warns us:
“Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.”
1 Peter 5:8
The enemy doesn’t want us walking in God’s promises.
And every time we choose disobedience, we make ourselves vulnerable to losing what God intended for our good.
Following Personal Instructions
With all the busyness of life and our endless to-do lists, I believe moments like the one I experienced on Monday morning are often God’s merciful invitation to pause.
To return.
To listen.
To realign.
Psalm 37:23 says:
“The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives.”
God gives us specific instructions for specific seasons.
Whether you’re navigating motherhood, singleness, unemployment, grief, relocation, or a season of waiting, He knows exactly what you need.
He is ready to order your steps.
We don’t need to do everything everyone else is doing.
The instructions God gives me may look completely different from those He gives you.
The important question is:
Will we obey?
It’s Not Too Late
I know there have been seasons when God’s instructions made little sense to me.
There have been times when I’ve wandered from the path He was leading me on and felt like it was too late to recover.
But I’ve come to learn that God is not intimidated by my mistakes.
He knew I would make them.
And when I return to Him and say,
“Lord, I got it wrong. Please help me,”
He is always ready to respond.
Psalm 37:24 reminds us:
“Though they stumble, they will never fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand.”
What a beautiful promise.
This isn’t true only for me.
It’s true for you too.
No matter how far you’ve wandered, you can turn around.
No matter how many wrong turns you’ve taken, God is still there.
He is still waiting.
His arms wide open.
Will you run into them?
Let’s Pray
Loving Father,
Thank You for being so patient with us, even when we lose our way. Thank You for always waiting for us and lovingly leading us back to You.
Help us not to forget that You are kind, faithful, and eager to forgive. Give us hearts that are quick to obey and willing to trust Your instructions, even when they don’t make sense.
Touch our hearts, draw us closer to You, and guide us in the paths You have prepared for us.In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Has God been calling you back to something He already spoke to your heart?
I’d love to hear from you in the comments. And if this post encouraged you, share it with someone who needs the reminder that it’s never too late to return to God’s path.